You have probably heard the advice to act “as if” when you want to create a change in your life.  Many articles, books and workshops advise dreamers to use this technique to bring about the change that they want.  Act as if you’ve already got your dream job.  Act as if you’re successful. Act as if you’re confident.

Image courtesy of 89studio / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What this means is that if we try on the thing we’ve always wanted, we’re more likely to achieve it.  Another version of this is the 12-Step refrain told to newcomers: “Fake it till you make it.”

This sounds good in theory, but how does it really work?  How do you go about acting “as if”?  How does a person turn what they say they want into what they actually get?  Here are some ways to begin.

Make sure you really want what you say you want.  Before you jump into a process to create something new or different, check in with yourself to make sure it’s the right thing for you.  As yourself:  What will the impact of this change be on the other areas of my life?  Is this change grounded in my core values?

Start slowly. When people decide to make a significant change in their lives they often try to do too many things at once and get overwhelmed or discouraged.  Focus on one thing that will get you closer to the “you” you’d like to become.

Face your resistance. Change is challenging for most of us.  Give yourself a leg-up by being willing to face any underlying beliefs that might be getting in your way.

Don’t just set goals, visualize them.  Create a dream board with magazine photos of your life as you’d like it to be – a visual representation is a potent and tangible reminder of what a customized, ideal life looks like.

Start acting like it.  Once you have visualized yourself living “as if” you’re already becoming that person, start taking the actions that person would take.  Actions can either reinforce the old beliefs or the new ones.

Hang out with people who are like what you want to be.  Role models are a great way to learn what works and avoid what doesn’t.  Ask questions.  Observe them.  Emulate them.  Change. Grow.

Self-care.  Ask yourself, “How would these ideal ‘as if’ people I’m hanging out with treat themselves if they were experiencing similar challenges?”  Then respond accordingly.

Change your environment so it’s in alignment with your new “as if” reality.  Our environment has a huge impact on our ability to change.  A messy and disorganized environment  encourages messy and disorganized behavior.  Clean up.  Declutter.  Get organized.  It can be the impetus for a positive attitude and behavior change.

Habits die hard.  It’s easy to become stuck with (or comforted by) old habits.  When routines get in the way of change, the best way to shed them is to replace them with something new.

Grow into it.  Make choices in your business and work life as though you already have the growth you want.  That doesn’t mean getting into debt spending “as if” you have the million dollars you’d like to have.  It can be as simple as replacing a scarcity philosophy with one of abundance.

Acting “as if” doesn’t bring change overnight.  Change takes time and consistent action.  We’re all faced with dozens of decisions every day that either support the life we have or the life we want.  By incorporating the approach outlined above, you will be in a position to make choices that will help you realize your dreams sooner rather than later.

Author’s content used under license, © Claire Communications

You are certainly aware that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure.”  But are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked is a state known as “fear of success”?

Image courtesy of graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia – the inability to make a decision or take action for fear of receiving a rejection or negative outcome. This mental state is fairly easy to identify, and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality:

• Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or even gets worse.

• You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

• You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

• You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are the symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination – putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a ‘success killer’! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it?  Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is the key ingredient in achieving success.

Can’t see the forest for the trees! – this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your movement towards your goals. In this situation, you don’t have a problem taking action, but you get so caught up in your action plan that you lose site of the goal.  You start to think and act as though your plan is more important than the end result.  When this happens, you miss opportunities to alter your path and reach your goals more quickly!

Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture?  Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?  Was the timing ever perfect?  Did you ever have all the information?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps is always better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal, you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist – this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when it’s finished it can always be improved! You may have heard that many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them.  A classic example of this is “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think it’s good enough!

Seeing only problems – how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only all the problems involved?  You can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an optimistic frame of mind instead.

Here’s how: Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Every time you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems, remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “How best can I overcome this challenge?” or “How quickly can I rectify this situation?” Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now?  If so then deal with it.  Is it a potential problem?  If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur, but don’t get caught up in it – just be prepared.

So, enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

What can I add to this?

I was surfing through YouTube this afternoon and ran across this video.  I’m not going to say much about it because I want it to be a surprise.  This video has had over 20 million views.  Here is the description on YouTube:

We all need a little encouragement every now and then. Kid President, knowing this, has put together a video you can play each morning as you wake up or to share with your friend who needs a kick in the right direction. Take a moment and spread some encouragement. “It’s everybody’s duty to give the world a reason to dance.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o

After you have viewed the video, please share your thoughts in a Comment.

To learn more about Kid President, read here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kid_President.

I had never seen the term “boomerpreneur” before yesterday, but apparently it’s been around for at least a couple of years.  I read it in an article in the Toronto Globe and Mail with the headline “Four boomers on why they chose second careers as entrepreneurs.”

In this composite photo: Dean Shaver (top left); Corinne McIsaac (top right; photo by JR Ratchford); Sandra and Ian McLeod (bottom left; photo by Kyle Ruggles); and Glenn Cox (bottom right; photo by Lynn Hubley)

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I like to include articles from newspapers and Web sites that tell the stories of people who have made successful midlife career changes.  This particular one tells the stories of four successful Canadians who decided to leave their professions and strike out on their own.  What I particularly like about this article is that it goes into some depth on each individual: what they were doing before, why they decided to start their own businesses, what their biggest challenges were and what their greatest rewards have been.

Four boomers on why they chose second careers as entrepreneurs

STACEY STEIN, Special to The Globe and Mail

As baby boomers in Canada leave the rat race, they’re increasingly shunning any notions of a retirement filled with blissfully commitment-free, leisurely days. Instead, many are trading in long-term vacation rentals, lazy mornings and general loafing for grueling work days, mounds of paperwork and financial uncertainty as they jump into entrepreneurship in ever-growing numbers.

A recent TD Canada Trust survey found that 54 per cent of baby boomers have started or considered starting a small business prior to retirement. And 40 per cent of workers over 65 are self-employed, showing that pre-boomers have also taken to entrepreneurialism in impressive numbers, according to Industry Canada.

There are many reasons for this surge in “boomerpreneurs,” according to Marlena Pospiech, a retirement expert with Bank of Montreal’s wealth planning group in Toronto.

“One of the top reasons is the need for additional income,” says Ms. Pospiech, citing a BMO study in which 75 per cent of respondents said they became entrepreneurs later in life for this very reason. There could be a number of factors contributing to this, including the feeling that government pension plans can’t be relied upon, the decline in employer-sponsored defined benefit pension plans, and the fact that some boomers might not have saved aggressively enough during their working years, she explains.

Read the complete article….

When you have read the article, please leave your thoughts in a Comment.

Robert Kiyosaki of Rich Dad, Poor Dad fame is offering free workshops in various cities throughout the US.  If money is an issue in your life, attending one of these should be very worthwhile.  I’m going to one of them in Boston.

Here’s the page that lists the cities and date and other information.  If you are in the New York/New Jersey area, tomorrow is the last day he’s there.

http://richdadeducationseminars.com/

Do you have a problem with procrastination?

Do you keep putting off tasks that you want to get done?

In this video, Hillary Rettig, author of The 7 Secrets of the Prolific and expert in the area of procrastination, presents one powerful and effective technique for dealing with your procrastination problem.

One of the things that I like about Hillary’s work is that she is very clear that procrastination does not stem from some personal fault (lack of discipline, laziness, etc.) and that it can be overcome using the techniques that she presents in her work.

So, give Hillary’s suggestion a go and make sure that you do the happy dance when you are successful.  Please let us know how you do by leaving a Comment below.

If you are interested in more information about Hillary’s book, you can find it here.

For Hillary’s blog and free downloads, go to http://hillaryrettig.com.

“The reason most people don’t get what they want is they don’t know why they want it. – Jim Rohn

Here’s another tip to follow to create the success in your life that you want:

Everyone’s motivation is going to be different no matter what the goal, but whatever that “why” is, it’s got to be powerful if you are going to be successful.  It’s got to be emotional.  When you have a big enough reason, the “how,” the steps you need to take to achieve your goal, becomes clear and taking those actions comes a lot more easily.  When have clear and powerful reasons, you will be more willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your result.

More importantly, your “why” has to be stronger than those non-supportive beliefs you  carry around in your head.  Like, “Rich people are greedy” or “Money is the root of all evil” or “I don’t deserve to have what I want.”  You may think you want a lot of money or a wonderful relationship, but with beliefs like these it’s not very likely.

Without a strong enough why, you’ll get sidetracked or give up at the first sign of failure, but if you take the time to truly work out why you want a goal, you’ll have the energy, passion, enthusiasm and determination to see it through to completion.

If you haven’t sat down and evaluated your goals and your why’s in a while or at all, I encourage you to do so. It’s a powerful exercise and one which will only serve to increase your chances at achieving a successful outcome with the goals and dreams that truly matter in your life.

I recently read a story online about a Bushmaster snake, one of the most deadly and aggressive snakes in all of Africa.  It seems a group of men captured one and were taking it to the market a boat to sell when it escaped its box.  The men got pretty scared because it was night, on a boat, and they couldn’t find it.  No one was going to sleep!   Finally, one of the men realized the snake could only be below in the engine room where there was two feet of water.  With lantern in hand, two brave men went in search of the snake to recapture or kill it before it killed them.

As they waded through the water in the engine room, one of them saw the snake on a ledge.  With great fear, he nudged it with a stick. It was dead.  As he looked up, he saw what killed it: an old, stray, mother cat.  Then he saw why she killed the snake; she had 3 kittens with her. One of the most deadly snakes in the world was just taken out by a domestic cat?  I guess someone forgot to tell her she couldn’t do that!

Suzanne Gray is a business coach and a friend, and I want to let you know about two Webinars she is offering next week.  Suzanne helps people who want to start their own business. (See below for more information about Suzanne.)  If you relate to what she has written here, I highly recommend that you attend one of her sessions.

Feeling frustrated working for the “man” (or “wo-man”)?

By Suzanne Gray

I hear stories from my clients and friends about corporate America these days and it reminds me just how lucky I am.  Yes, business ownership can be frustrating too, and it’s not for everyone.  But for some, it’s a viable alternative to the daily grind of their jobs.  I just read an article by James Altucher where he talks about this…here’s the link if you want to take a look James Altucher Article [The article is titled “10 Reasons Why You Have to Quit Your Job This Year”; I recommend that you take a look at it.]

James says, “Corporations don’t like you…, Money is not happiness…”, and many other statements that are thought provoking.  It’s an interesting perspective on the reasons why everyone should be taking control of their own career.

Are you unhappy with your career progression?  Have you ever thought about quitting your job?  Are you  interested in:

• Finding your purpose?
• Using your skills to reap your own success?
• Finding a work/life balance?
• Building wealth for you and your family, that you control?
•  Working in an environment where the business decisions made actually make sense?
• Picking the people you work with?

There are options out there.  I can help you learn what they are and how to research them in order to figure out if one of them makes sense to you.

Join our live virtual discussion “Take This Job and …”

Space is limited, so please register now to make sure you have a “seat”!

Register here for:   Tues, 4/2 – Noon - 1:00pm EST

or

Register here for:   Thurs, 4/4 – 7:00pm – 8:00pm EST

I look forward to “seeing” you on the webinar!

Please pass on to others who might be interested and/or contact me for additional information, I would love to hear from you!

Suzanne

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Suzanne Gray joined The Entrepreneur’s Source (TES) in 2005 as a career coach specializing in self-employment.  As a small business coach she works with professionally minded individuals who are interested in investing in themselves through business ownership.  She helps clients clarify their unique personal goals and their vision as a business owner.  They educate clients about business ownership and help them to explore businesses that meet their specific criteria, using a step by step process.

Suzanne received Excellence in Marketing  and Outstanding Leadership Awards through her parent organization, The Entrepreneur’s Source.  Suzanne has helped hundreds of people find their path.

Suzanne may be reached at (603) 585-3110 or sgray@esourcecoach.com

Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with what’s truly important to you.  Do your decisions emerge from the essence of who you are—not from who you think you should be?

I have written pretty extensively about the importance of being clear about your core values: in this blog, in my article Clarifying Your Core Values: A Key Step in a Successful Midlife Career Change, and in my book Discovering Your Dream Career: 7 Steps to Finding the Career You Always Wanted.

If you don’t know what your own values are, you could very well be living your life based on someone else’s – a parent, a teacher, a mentor, or those held by the culture that surrounds you.

So, here’s a quiz that will help you see how well you are living a life that is of your own making.  Answer True or False to each statement:

1. I have spent time thinking about what’s important to me, and I can articulate those things.

2. While I have been influenced by my parents, teachers, society and other outside forces, I have not simply adopted their values and beliefs. My own values and beliefs come from deep inside.

3. I am not easily swayed by others’ opinions. I know my own mind.

4. In order to remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my opinions and beliefs to determine whether something is still true for me. I am interested in other points of view.

5. My spouse/partner is a good match for me. We share in a way that pleases me and have an ideal amount of separate space. We don’t have to agree on everything.

6. I chose my occupation, or choose to remain in it, because it most closely utilizes my skills, strengths and passions.

7. I also choose my friends.  I don’t go along with a friendship that doesn’t feel right just because that person pursued me

8. Any spirituality I practice feeds my soul.

9. I have aspirations.  I spend time thinking about them and taking action toward those that are most important to me.

10. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.

11. When I or a family member is sick, I listen to the appropriate health care provider.  If the advice doesn’t feel right, I get a second opinion.

12. On the rare occasion when I let someone break a boundary or persuade me to do something I don’t want to do, as soon as I’m aware of it, I take steps to stop and correct the situation.

So, how did you do?  If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify what is truly important to you and then find ways to bring your life into greater alignment with those values.   Here is a simple Values Clarification process to help you get clear.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like support in doing this.

 Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications